You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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