then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
