I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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