I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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