i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
