all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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