cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Sober January is a disaster.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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