i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
