can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
