thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
