Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I looked at my own cervix.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
