His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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