Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
