Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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