the new term for farting is butt boxing.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
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He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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