the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
