Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
