PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
