you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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