found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
