I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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