You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
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Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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