we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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