I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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