Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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