he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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