yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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