kristin has been a bad kristin
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
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i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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