I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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