the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
