white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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