kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
