sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
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Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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