According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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