i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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