there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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