yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
