love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
