There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
