I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
