and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I did not marry a roomba.
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