States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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