I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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