Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
