so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
