i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
