I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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