im about as happy as oj after his trial
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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