He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I supernannyed him into submission
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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