i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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