I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Randomize
