One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
