She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
