i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
