What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
